Yesterday was quite a day. I went in for a typical doctor's appointment at 15 weeks. I told Steve when he left for work if he wanted to meet me there that'd be great but if he couldn't, no big deal since I wasn't having an ultrasound. He showed up at the appointment and I am so glad. Thank you God for sending him!
The nurse could not pick up the heartbeat with the doppler. I wouldn't have been overly concerned except that 4 weeks ago, she detected it right away. After a few minutes she said, "Now I don't want you to panic, and I'm not gonna panic, but I'm sending y'all over to ultrasound and you'll just get an extra peak at your baby!" Bless her heart she was trying so hard to be reassuring but I cannot even describe how I was feeling.
As we sat in the waiting room, I was calm, but tears were streaming down my face. Steve had his arm around me and just kept whispering, "It's o.k. It's o.k." I never stopped praying the whole time we waited. Pleading with God for a heartbeat and a baby that was alive and well, telling him I believed this baby was fine but I sure did need some confirmation. I'm not sure what I truly believed, but I just kept talking to Him. I have never felt any emotion like it and pray I don't ever again. My heart breaks as I think about so many others who have had that same experience, only with a much different outcome.
She called us back and told me that this happens a lot and to try to relax. As soon as she turned on the ultrasound machine she said, "You can breathe. This baby is fine." Or something like that. All I know is that I burst into tears. Like sobbing, uncontrollable tears where my whole body was shaking. Relief and gratefulness and joy and so many other emotions took over and all I could do was cry and cry and apologize for crying! She couldn't even get a good look at the baby I was shaking so much. Steve just held my hand and I know he was feeling the same way. She was truly so precious and I wanted to hug her neck. Praise the Lord everything looked great!
THEN....she said "I know what this baby is if y'all want to know." I asked her how sure she was and she said 100%-without a doubt-no question. Hmmm...well Steve told me last week he thought we shouldn't find out and should just let it be a surprise. (We didn't find out with Anna Clare and it was SO MUCH FUN and I could've probably been talked into it again. BUT the practical side of me was dying to know). I looked at him and he said, "I know you want to know." And I said, "I know you want to wait." He said, "Well, we're here and she knows and she's sure, so let's do it!"
She showed us some different views and angles and (I am having trouble getting these scanned ultrasound pictures to show "regular" size) that last one says...
We are still in shock I think. The whole moment seems like a dream and I wish I could replay that part back again and again. We are thrilled and grateful and feeling blessed beyond belief. It was some absolutely wonderful news at a time that could have been anything but wonderful. To God Be the Glory!!
I told Steve I had no cute, fun way planned to tell everyone because I didn't know that we would be finding out. So we just did it the old fashioned way...we called them on the phone! :)
The girls are thrilled (although Owen informed me this morning that she wanted a sister and I reminded her that she already had a sister:) Anna Clare has been convinced from the moment she found out that it was a boy. I brought these home for the girls and they had the best time taking them around to all the neighbors as their own way of sharing the news.
And this morning I stopped in here to pick up a little something for my nephew Mason, who is expected to arrive any day now. I couldn't resist one just like it to celebrate. Hey, one must take advantage of a 50% off coupon, right? :) I am a sucker for Kissy Kissy.
So, it was an emotional day with a whole lot to process but we are so very excited and thankful for the outcome!